Friday, January 29, 2010

Reflections of a Minor Fiend

Back when I was in college, I was involved in drama.  One of the first plays I was heavily involved in was Screwtape, a play by James Forsyth somewhat loosely based on The Screwtape Letters by C. S. Lewis.  I had the fortune to be cast in the role of Wormwood, arguably the lead of the play (the name notwithstanding).  For those who don't know, Wormwood is a junior demon, and Screwtape, his uncle, is tasked with showing Wormwood the ropes.

One of the tasks of preparing for our parts was to write a brief document from the point of view of our character.  The scene that follows is what I wrote, as I tried to get into Wormwood's state of mind just prior to the start of the play.


Ah, at long last, freedom!  I thought those classes would never end.  From now on, old Slubgob will have to find someone else to put to sleep with all those boring lectures on "Pride," "Sloth," and "Avoidance of Truth."  I'm out to find some action!  My patient is going to be so gloriously depraved, I'll be promoted up from grade D (ugh!) to Master Tempter in no time.

It will be nice to get out into the material world.  Hell can be so dull at times.  All we get down here anymore are the same old, boring, self-righteous cretins who simply weren't smart enough to avoid our temptations and deserved to be tossed down here anyway.  Besides, it's not healthy to live in an environment where you might end up as your teacher's next meal if you don't turn in your report on "Keeping Your Patient's Attention on Himself."

I dare say, my parents would be most disgusted to see their "little monster" has gotten this far.  Fortunately, they so miserably failed in their mission with that "Theresa" woman that Lucifer sent them down for consumption while I was still learning the "ABC"s of temptation.  Uncle Screwtape's seen to my upbringing since then.  Not much better.  He's as contemptible as everyone else down here.  Well, I'll show them.  I'll outfiend them all!

Well, it's almost time to see what the Earth is like.  Uncle Screwtape has talked about the opportunities for a young fiend, "if you have the wits to find them."  I'll show him wit!  My patient will be destroying office buildings and shooting down Kindergartner's before I'm through with him.  Oh, Creosote!  Uncle's calling me now!  Coming, Uncle....  (I wish someone would consume him!)

1 comment:

  1. very well-written and full of wit - I would have thought it from the original work if you had not said you wrote it. Excellent, big brother!

    ReplyDelete

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...