Friday, June 08, 2007

I Am The Very Model...

It's that time of year again. Finals Week Friday of the Spring Quarter! This is, for most Fuller students, the very last day for assignments to be turned in for the academic year. As the person who receives most such assignments for the School of Theology, this is always a busy day for me. In honor of this event, allow me to share a parody I wrote several years ago, back when I was still working on my own degree.

(to the tune of "Modern Major General", with apologies to Gilbert and Sullivan)
By Mark Baker-Wright

I am the very model of a Fuller individual.
I'm taking classes practical, and biblical and spiritual.
I'm learning all about the facts of how to exegete a verse.
But I must say that all this makes my headaches keep on getting worse!

If I am asked to say who wrote the Institutes or Table Talk,
I probably will make you think that I am worse than Mr. Spock.
Why I could rattle on and on about the most pedantic things. (pause)
Like how the hermeneutic exegetical assignment rings.

Like how the hermeneutic exegetical assignment rings.
Like how the hermeneutic exegetical assignment rings.
Like how the hermeneutic exegetical assignment-ignment rings!

My social life is dominated by lots of religious talk
About how Jesus is the Christ and Simon Peter is the Rock.
In short in matters practical and biblical and spiritual
I am the very model of a Fuller individual.

If my professor tells our class that everyone must read a book.
I'll guarantee that very few will not give me a dirty look.
When I inform them that the book was sold out several months ago.
Because the bookstore thought that only a few students would enroll.

When translating a passage of First Peter or Leviticus,
The Hebrew or the Greek editions tell me what to do with this.
Because I know the meaning of the nominative article, (pause)
which tells me that the passage I'm translating from is marginal.

which tells me that the passage I'm translating from is marginal.
which tells me that the passage I'm translating from is marginal.
which tells me that the passage I'm translating from is margin-arginal.

If you should have a question about Hebrew terminology
I quickly will be able to show you the truth from BDB
In short in matters practical and biblical and spiritual
I am the very model of a Fuller individual.

If you want me to tell you why the crucifixion had to be
I'll give a dissertation on atonement substitution-ry.
I'll talk about the Trinity, how our God can be Three-in-One
And you may wonder what a seminary student does for fun.

I've been at Fuller several years, and still I haven't run away.
And now I'm writing silly songs about the debts I have to pay
For I'll be working overtime to pay off all my Stafford Loans. (pause)
While cutting some expenses by eliminating my cell phones!

While cutting some expenses by eliminating my cell phones!
While cutting some expenses by eliminating my cell phones!
While cutting some expenses by eliminating my cell my cell phones!

I have no money because pastors are to live in poverty
But I don't care, my flesh I'll starve, for my soul is in liberty
In short in matters practical and biblical and spiritual
I am the very model of a Fuller individual.

1 comment:

  1. It you would like to stop the search for coins found around your house?
    If you are tired of the fact your something of a poor church mouse?
    If your wallet often sneezes from the dust and cobwebs found within?
    If your belly often grumbles from spaghetti eating once again?
    May I suggest for you to be a “fuller” individual
    You invest in something practical, pragmatic and empirical.
    Whether ball point, felt-tip, fountain pen, a quill or even stylo-graph


    (chorus)
    Please go out and quickly buy some paper and begin a draft!
    Please go out and quickly buy some paper and begin a draft!
    Please go out and quickly buy some paper and begin a draft!

    Yes you should be a writer that is not a question any more.
    You are a talent rarely found and you must start a story board.
    I eagerly await a fiction story soon that comes from you.
    You are a talent rarely found did I say it twice it must be true.
    I tell you this sincerely , I am bona fide and earnest too
    I tell you this and it has been predestined for you that I do.



    May I suggest for you to be a “fuller” individual
    You invest in something practical, pragmatic and empirical.
    Whether ball point, felt-tip, fountain pen, a quill or even stylo-graph


    (chorus)
    Please go out and quickly buy some paper and begin a draft!
    Please go out and quickly buy some paper and begin a draft!
    Please go out and quickly buy some paper and begin a draft!

    Kimberley Lang

    ReplyDelete

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